We recently bought a new home and in the process of moving I broke the glass front of a new clock I had purchased for said new home, it was actual glass and shattered into a thousand little pieces… This reminded me so much of the many times I have fallen to pieces from life experiences, the sharp glass from the broken clock casing reminds me how in life things can cut so very deeply.
In the last 3 years, there have been things, defining things to have happened in order to restore my life back to where it needs to be… most of those things have been by choice but some have not never the less the lessons are the same. God will use the sharp pieces of brokenness to draw you back to a place of restoration and forgiveness. For me the lessons have been many and heartbreaking all God ever wanted or wants from me is a complete surrender to His will and not mine and in those times of complete disobedience those very sharp pieces of brokenness cut to a deep place within my heart.
Part of my personal Restoration process started when God clearly spoke to me and gave me direction and just like David I completely ran the opposite way, running into the arms of another lover, in scriptures it talks about God being the lover of our soul but at that point in time I wanted to run as far away from Him as possible ..I had my foot on the very edge of the slippery slope for awhile and what God allowed was a season of disobedience, listen closely He allowed , He did not in any way,shape or form cause it, I did that all by myself because of my selfishness, I think to this point in my walk with God I was a luke warm Christian who served but never stepped out boldly, It took being alone with God without interruption to hear that still small voice speak very clearly and with purpose “This is my plan for you” and like a child afraid of such big changes and what it would mean in my life I ran and ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction of God’s will.
In Psalm 51:10-13 it says;
Create in me a clean spirit O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me, do not cast me away from your presence and do not take your Holy Spirit away from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and Uphold me with your generous spirit, Then I will teach transgressors your ways and sinners shall be converted to you.
I so want to leave verse 13 out because I feel I am the biggest sinner of all and how will others especially those that know my sin look at me and may think she is a fine one to be talking… Yet this scripture has been my lifeline over these past few years.. and I truly desire to Create in me a Clean heart O God with every ounce of my being…
Can I say that I am perfect and no longer make mistakes? No ..absolutely not I am still dying daily to so much but God’s word tells us that we will not be tempted beyond what we are able to handle and that God ALWAYS gives us a way out!! The real question is will we take it or not and when we do defy God’s will for us are we brokenhearted over that disobedience? Are we on our knees and crying out to Him? Some lessons are learned the hard way and just like the broken clock, we cut our selves while sweeping up the mess.
There was a dark force pursuing me while I ran away and took me down some paths I never thought I would go or go down again but it’s just like God to use those experiences to bring Him glory and just like the clock I broke in the moving process, I to have been given new life and the broken pieces have been removed and now I have been given the same function but with a new purpose .
Repost from a former blog post-August, 2011
Saved To Serve, Serve To Inspire,